Spread My Wings.

It was the epitome of a proper Alaskan sendoff. 

It was one of my last days in Alaska, and I was coming home from a walk. The weather was wonderful, the sun was out, and I was taking in this pristine place I’ve called my home for so many years with a thoughtful and nostalgic sigh. 

At the end of my driveway, there was a moose. She was laying down in the snow, appeared to be sunbathing, and we both silently acknowledged each other, two feminine creatures soaking in this fine spring weather.  

I smiled shyly to myself, taking in this simple moment and above me, an Alaskan bald eagle flew in circles around us.  

And it reminded me of something my dad has been saying for so long about my move.  

Through all the back and forths I’ve had the past year or so, my dad has remained consistent with one phrase: 

It’a time to be a big girl and spread your wings.  

 For awhile, I resented the comment.  

I’ve actually been continuously loathing it until today, when I saw that eagle flying overhead. I’m not 100% confident in myself and my decision to up and move to California with no job, but I’m aware of the fact that it is time for me to search the skies and try something new in a place other than Alaska.

For me, and the future I want to have, the opportunities lie in California. I can feel it, and although the uncertainty terrifies me, I truly believe that it’s where I’m meant to be. 

I’ve cried many tears already, and I know there will be many more that will cascade down my cheeks in mascara ridden rivers, but I have to remind myself that I’m doing this for personal growth. It’s been hella hard to leave, definitely one of the most difficult and emotional moves I’ve ever made, but the time has come for me to once again step out of my comfort zone. I have to go into the unknown, not with certainty, but with confidence in myself that I truly will succeed, as hard as it is to leave a place I love and adore so much. 

Like the eagle flying overhead, an image that will forever remain in my mind as a memory of my Alaskan home, it is time for me to spread my wings and fly.  

Time for me to be a big girl. To grow up, fall down a little, curse the adult world and it’s many (unresonable) responsibilities, fail a few times, have a good cry, get over it with my friends over a fancy arse cocktail, and then move forward more confidently, a lesson learned.  

And the good thing?  

Like the eagle, I can always spread my wings and fly home for a refresher.  

(And you know I will).  

Alaska to California... the star-t of an adventure for sure. ⭐️ 

Cat-urday.

There are a lot of things I'll miss when I leave Alaska.

My home, and everything in it. My parents, and all those weekends spent at home watching basketball over fancy arse homemade cocktails. My job, and the abundance of coffee consumed in a day. Alaska itself, and her wild terrain.

What I'll miss especially though, is my cat. 

I get called a cat lady often, mostly in jest, but in all reality, I am a catwoman.

I take cat naps, I scour the house for sun spots, I whine when I'm hungry, and I certainly won’t complain if attention is directed my way. 

And my cat Fudge does it all with me. 

I've been home alone for a few days now and me and Fudge have been keeping each other company. She knows I'm leaving, all those packed bags in my room are evidence enough, and it's gonna kill me when I leave Alaska and move somewhere new and she won't be with me. She has been very kneady, and it’ll make it even harder when I wish her goodbye. 

I'm thinking of all the possible ways I can get my cat fix. Meet some young single men who happen to have cats (do they even exist?), volunteer at a cat shelter...

Oh it'll be a cat-astrophe without Fudge for sure, but I'll make it work. 

Somehow. 

Anyhoo, in celebration of Cat-urday, which is technically every day, I spent it in the most authentic cat-tastic ensemble, in honor of my favorite feline friend, Fudge. 

If that's not the most cat lady post ever..