Cool as a Cucumber.

I am not the most savvy when it comes to certain situations. 

Parties, socializing, and anything that has to do with the male gender often have me flustered and ever so awkward. 

In response to my laments in these circumstances, my sister has always said to me: Elan, be cool as a cucumber. 

See, this is the Cool Cucumber she’s talking about:  

I am Cool as a Cucumber.  Confident and casual, I walk through life with certainty and grace. I don’t put all of my eggs in one basket, as I like to spread the wealth and remain cool through it all. I’m chill with boys, don’t overthink things and have a blasse attitude towards difficult situations. I know what I want and who I am. 

Meanwhile, I’m emanating this guy on the inside, a more accurate personification of who I really am... 

I am Shriveled like a Pickle. Slightly self-conscious and unsure of herself at times, I walk through life hiding behind a punny sense of humor and a a contagious grin. I put all of my eggs in one basket, which occasionally leads to disappointment and heartbreak. I’m so not chill with boys (who are these complicated creatures that don’t respond to me in a timely manner and what do they really want with me?), and I have a tendency to overthink and feel deeply . I’m on a roller coaster ride trying to find out who I really am. 

It’s quite a clash of identities, Cool as a Cucumber and Shriveled like a Pickle.  Deep down though, I know I resonate way more with the actions of the Shriveled Pickle. 

Let's be real here! 

What I’m coming to terms with, despite the fact that I just compared myself to a Shriveled Pickle (it’s a metaphor here guys) has to do with acceptance.  

Acceptance and refusing to compare myself to other people is something I’m always working on. It’s easy at times, especially on those days when I feel hella boss, but then there are days when I feel like an actual Shriveled Pickle. And the temptation is there, this comparison to all the Cool Cucumbers out there, which is something I often fight with.

But you know what? Shriveled Pickles are just as suave as Cool Cucumbers. In their own unique way, being a Shriveled Pickle is nothing to be ashamed of. Though I continue to strive and work on being more even keel about certain things, I also can’t be ashamed of who I am. 

And while there are some things I am working on, like not being overly sensitive and learning to take things as they are, I’m gonna rock the Shriveled Pickle in all its glory.  

Also, if this is the look of a Shriveled Pickle, I would say I’m doing the Pickle justice.