Rooting For Me.

The other night, I was kidnapped.

I got a text announcing the imminent arrival of my friend Marissa and was told to be ready to go out in fifteen minutes.

The only hint as to where we were going? A nod to the attire.

“Relaxed vibe.”

Relaxed vibe.

That to me was a shiny Milly dress, strappy gold heels, hoops, and to top off the “relaxed vibe”, a denim jacket.

Ready. To. Rumble.

Without any idea as to where my kidnapper was taking me, I kicked it in the front seat of her new Subaru and we found ourselves on the 80 and headed across the Bay Bridge and into the city of San Francisco.

Still curious as to where we were going, I excitedly looked out the window as we made our way up and down the steep streets until she told me to be on the lookout for parking.

It took some time (as her car as not as agile and accommodating in size as my Fiat), but we eventually scored, then we walked a ways to the final destination.

To a Kava Lounge.

A…. Kava Lounge?

If you’re like me and have no idea what the heck kava is, let me give you a brief overview.

Kava is a crop that comes from the Pacific Islands. It’s an earthy, not very tasty, beverage that has zero alcohol content and is consumed in smaller doses.

So if it doesn’t taste very good, then why do we drink it?

Kava is drunk for the purpose of its sedating effects. Unlike alcohol and drugs, this natural consumption often leaves the drinker feeling a euphoric, peaceful, calm, and relaxed sensation.

In Marissa and I’s case, it was accompanied by an intense talkative period in which we discussed the history of the hippie movement, an unsuccessful attempt at talking bad about work (kava produces this inner barrier in which it becomes difficult to talk negative, at least for me), then a sleepy period in which we read each other’s tarot cards on the couch with our shoes off.

All of this on a casual weeknight.

Feeling inspired, we spent the next day romping around the Bay visiting the Marine Mammal Center up in Sausalito, hunting for the most aesthetically pleasing coffee shop (in this case, Fox + Kit in San Rafael), sightseeing like tourists at the Golden Gate Bridge, hunting all over Berkeley for two particular books, and finally having dinner at a cosy restaurant in Oakland.

Apparently, this is a casual way to spend a day for Marissa, who’s unafraid in driving nowhere in search of something. A little timid myself to be the instigator of exploring (especially in going by myself), I was glad for the companionship and willingness to explore.

From all of this: the kava, the tarot cards, and the abundant exploring of new places, I remembered the importance of immersing oneself in a new home. Be it the culture, in the city, in the coffee shops and the local hangouts, or with the people, it’s all a part of fitting in to your new home.

As daring as I think I am, I often become encumbered by the shyness of stepping out of my comfort zone and leaving the house in search of something new, especially when there’s California freeway driving involved and the potential of having to find parking.

But I’ve already made the biggest step out of my comfort zone and that was moving here in the first place! So what more do I have to be afraid of?

Stories, adventures, experiences, and becoming a person with an open mind all come from stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Having Marissa as a friend who safely introduces me to new things and new places is a blessing that I am most grateful for.

Having “firsts” (safely, always) are exciting prospects and I can never achieve those if I choose to stay in all the time.

Maybe it’s the kava talking, maybe it’s the tarot cards, or maybe it’s just me, but someone out there is encouraging me to get out and see the world.

One could even say they’re “rooting” for me.

 The Kava Lounge

Fox + Kit

Time of Night.

There are certain things that happen in a gal’s life that move her to write:

When she notices something from her astute observations, when she has an intense experience that causes her to become engulfed in her emotions, conversations she’s had with friends and foes alike about subjects ranging from sex, loneliness, work drama, life, and being an adult, and when the pent up sentences become too much and she’s dying to get them on paper and out of her head.

And then there are times where she’s inspired to write by the way a store is displayed, or the way a tree looks in the fall, or even how a honey lavender macaroon is presented in its case.

Just like above, there are also certain times of day when she’s moved to write more than others.

Or should I say night?

Alone in her room, fairy lights casting a moody shade that splashes across her rack of colorful clothes and snapshots of her life hanging on the wall, she climbs into bed in her 1950’s nightgown and it seems the words have an easier time pouring out of her.

Call it the liquid courage (usually a cup of Handsome James tea, don’t get too excited), or the vulnerability of being alone with her thoughts in a creative and introspective mood with little to no distraction, but when the sun goes down and she settles in for the evening, a conversation between her and paper often follows suit.

There’s actually a whole topic about being the most creative at night and getting the best ideas at the worst times.

Basically, when we’re tired, alone and in the dark (basically me every night) our brain filters out information (ridding us of our inhibitions) which causes us to wander into the unknown, letting our imagination wander into deeper depths. Without the distraction of Netflix, my roommates, and the sights and sounds that surround me in the daylight, I am left with my thoughts and my thoughts alone.

It’s also proven by science.

In Leyman’s terms, during the day, we burn through dopamine, which is housed in the frontal cortex of our brain. By the end of the day, it starts losing steam and processing slows down. Without this STOP sign being on high alert processing our thoughts, our brain ends up running wild with these passing and unfiltered thoughts and as a result, creativity is more likely to flow. 

Science.

What I’m getting at is that one should utilize this precious time and not let it go to waste.

Too often, I cast it away because I’m “too tired”, or I think I’ll remember it in the morning (which we all know we never remember), and I lose this precious opportunity to connect with myself and my creative spirit.

It also happens to be the best time for picking out my ensemble for the next day, which is what you’ll see below.

And it’s all backed by science.