My New 'Do.

I had a little treat myself moment yesterday.

A delightful, refreshing, and much needed treat.

It didn't take much. After months of working seven days a week, eight hours a day, and spending any and all spare time trying to nap, cook, commute, and catch up on some private time, I decided that I was long overdue for a little pampering.

So I booked the appointment, a simple hair appointment for a casual Sunday afternoon. 

Not only did it give me a new look and boost my self-confidence, but it ended up setting the precedent for a change in lifestyle, something I've been needing for quite some time. 

I'm well aware of the fact that it's been a hot minute since I last caught up with you, and to be totally and completely honest, it's mainly due to the fact that I've been coming to terms with some... personal issues. 

Like that doesn't sound inconspicuous or anything. 

What those "personal issues" are, I have yet to discover, but I do know that they're the types of things that have been causing me doubt, uncertainty, insecurity, and they've enabled my emotions to ride at a particularly off balance level.  

Writing, as I've told you time and time again, has always been a process that heals me. My fingers fly across the keyboard and as my situations come to life on screen, I find peace in whatever I'm going through once my words appear before me. 

Lately though? It hasn't been helping as much as it used to. 

I’ve found myself at a loss as to how to positively finish a post when I doubt that the outcome will end positively. So I feel conflicted, not wanting to encourage and inspire people how to feel better about things, when I can’t even believe them for myself. And due to these clashing thoughts, I've decided to take time off and step back and do some soul searching.

Now, however, I can proudly share with you some secrets that have already helped me establish a healthier lifestyle and better outlook on life. Little steps I've taken in order to work through said mysterious issues. 

First, I wrote a list. You know me, I have to see things on paper! On that list were various choices I knew would positively impact my life and make my days more productive and enriching. 

The first was easy, and obvious: cut back on work. Yeah working 54 hours a week is a proud number that makes me feel like an adult in the working world, but it honestly isn’t worth the exhaustion and stress that comes out of spending that much time working and not enough time focusing on me.  

The second had to do with saying no. Saying no to going out when I didn’t want to, saying no to certain situations in which I had previously been a doormat on, and saying no to anything that didn’t positively boost my spirits. 

The third was communicating more, not just with myself, but with others. Opening up to friends, seeing someone professionally, anything that would allow me an opportunity to not harbor unhealthy thoughts and feelings inside.  

The last was self care. This meant taking the time to go hiking, buying myself treats that would make me happy (which could be something as simple as buying myself more pillows), and not being shameful about being selfish every once in a while.  

I've seen a difference already, albeit there's still lots of work to be done. I've always valued my honesty with you and I feel invigorated at these steps I've taken towards my self-care and knocking down whatever these personal issues are.

And all the while, I've got a killer new 'do to accompany me...

THE Coffee Shop.

My first alarm clock goes off at the wee hour of 4:44am. Reluctantly, after cursing the early time of day at which I wake up in, I crawl out of bed and literally stumble to the bathroom. After getting ready and eating a small breakfast, I gather my things and leave my apartment, locking the door behind me as I start my walk to The Coffee Shop.

Not to work, but to home. 

I don't know if I've shared with you yet, but I am currently working as (surprise!) a barista at The Coffee Shop.

Which one, you ask?

THE one. Coffee Shop is a hidden gem that Siobhan and I first found when I moved to Walnut Creek and I instantly fell in love with the place. 

A neighborhood type joint tucked away on Locust Street, Coffee Shop not only caters to you during all hours of the day (including breakfast and alchohol), but the place itself feels like actual home. 

There's a reason I'm always drawn back to coffee it seems, back to home. 

You all know that since I was near four, I've had an insatiable thirst for that cup of joe. And when I first began work in a coffee shop, it only strengthened my desire to learn more and to continue work in this type of environment. 

As a FIDM graduate, I often feel pressure from the world, and from myself, to take that degree and pursue a "big girl job" in the adult world. In fact, I ran into one of my old college classmates whilst working the other day and at first, I felt ashamed. Wearing casual clothes and working in a coffee shop, I felt that I was caught in some unspeakable act but after thinking about it, I realized it doesn't really matter what other people think, if they even think of me at all that way. 

You know why?

Because I love working in coffee. I had multiple interviews when I first moved here, when I was trying to find my footing (and a job), and I was constantly asked why I wasn't pursuing something in the publishing industry, the industry in which my degree fits in. 

To that I ask: can't a girl have multiple infatuations? Can't a girl have a job that's full of passionate coffee loving individuals? Can't a girl chose a job that means more to her than just paying the bills, a job that’s full of the happiest people?

See, there's a few things in particular that I adore about coffee.

One, the taste, obviously. Along with that comes the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that produces the feeling of euphoria and pleasant feelings. So I'm literally surrounded, all day, every day, by people who are psychologically feeling happy feelings because of this glorious cup that I had the pleasure of making them.

Second, I get to be that person who starts hundreds of people's mornings. We are the one stop shop for folks on their way to work, the supplier of the drug that wakes them up and gets them going. How powerful of a feeling is that?

Thirdly? There's always something new to learn. Whether it's new brewing techniques, practicing latte art, or learning about different coffee regions and how they affect taste, I get to go to work every morning with the knowledge that I'll learn something new.

I'll never apologize for wanting to work in a coffee shop. It's been eight years now since I first started and I know there's many more to come. 

And though being up at 4:44am sometimes kills me, I know that they're worth it, that they're gonna be full of that delicious drug that makes so many people happy.

Making the most important person of all happy: me.